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churbooseanon ([personal profile] churbooseanon) wrote2014-06-10 12:19 pm

Relocation - Part Four

Another character enters the fray, confusing everything and provoking Shaun to do something he wouldn’t have tired otherwise. I promise you’ll enjoy.

Relocation - Part Four

“Oh, um, sorry but we aren’t… Oh! Oh it’s you Mister Washington. I didn’t recognize you!”

The sound of Caboose all but shouting in his ear made David flinch, his key jerking away from the lock on the cafe’s front door. With a deep breath to calm himself he carefully slipped the key into the lock, twisted, and pushed the door open for Caboose. The far taller man gladly stumbled forward past David, babbling the whole time about, well, David wasn’t quite sure what about because the other man’s stream of consciousness manner of speaking when someone wasn’t conversing with him was hard to follow.

“What did you call me?” David asked as he closed the door behind them and flipped the lock again. This was the first time he’d had a chance to use the key to the cafe Connie had given him while she was helping him move. She had stressed that his first day was meant to be a short one to adjust. This being day two meant having to come in early enough to start learning everything that wasn’t handling tables.

“Mister Washington,” Caboose repeated, turning to him to smile widely. Beamed really.

“It’s Kearney. David Kearney.”

“Oh,” Caboose said, biting his lip. “Well, see, only Miss Boss Lady uses first names, and no one knows your last name so we decided to, uh, give you a name.”

Give me a name?”

“And Church said he heard you were from Seattle which doesn’t really sound very good and Tucker said Washington would work, so we decided you’d be Washington,” Caboose explained, grinning once more. “What do you think?”

That… Was a really good question.

“I’d really rather be David,” he admitted, striding past Caboose and making for the locker room.

“Yeah… But that doesn’t work for us. How about Wash? Yes, that will do very well. I will tell Church and Tucker when they come in.”

All David could do was stare at the blond as he moved to his locker and jerked it open. David sighed and hauled open his own locker, started to pull off his own jacket, and suddenly there were arms wrapping tightly around his chest from behind him, practically cutting off his breathing.

“Connie,” he gasped out, “Leggo.”

“Nope. Not happening. My little David is coming back!” Her arms disappeared for a moment, only long enough for him to catch a deep breath before she grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around before throwing her arms around him again. “Look at you! Your hair…”

“Oh, is it group hug time?” Caboose asked, and before David could process the excitement in Caboose’s voice there was another set of arms around his shoulders, utterly immobilizing him.

Great.

“Doesn’t he look better as a blond?” Connie asked Caboose, grinning widely, and David rolled his eyes.

“Oh yes, very much better,” Caboose agreed, squeezing tighter. “Wash looks much better like this. He looked sad with black hair.”

“Wash?” Connie asked, her grip loosening slightly as David watched her tilt her head to meet Caboose’s eyes. “Whose idea was that?”

“Mine,” Caboose declared with another squeeze that found David biting back a yelp of pain.

“I like it,” Connie answered, and David just groaned.

“Could we all just let me go? Because I’m sort of here to work, not be the staff cuddle buddy,” David demanded, and immediately both sets of arms were off of him and he finally had a chance to shrug himself out of his coat.

“Mister Wash isn’t a very cheerful guy, is he Miss Boss Lady?” Caboose asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“No, he’s not,” Connie agreed and David didn’t flinch at the pain in her voice as he stuffed his jacket and keys into the locker and slammed it shut.

“Uh-oh, sounds like he’s mad at us,” Caboose’s voice was pitched to a stage whisper behind David.

“Yes it does,” Connie’s voice teased in a lighter way.

“Connie… Can I have a word with you? Alone?”

The two seemed to stop for a while, to contemplate David’s demand—he had put enough force behind it for it not to be a question—and at last he heard Connie sigh behind him.

“Caboose, why don’t you get started on the baking. Church should be in soon to help. Whatever you do, don’t let him do anything other than measure what you tell him to,” Connie ordered, and the sound of footsteps heading further back into the kitchen marked the two of them being left alone. “Okay, he’s gone. Help me pull the chairs down on the tables and…”

“Ethan called last night,” David grit out, hand pressed hard against his locker. “Couldn’t handle the color any more.”

There was no response at first, and with a sigh he turned toward the hooks that the half aprons hung from and took down the one he had used the day before, tying it in place. After a moment he stiffened when Connie’s hand brushed against his arm. That was all the warning he had before there was another hug, a gentler one, wrapped around his waist. Connie’s forehead came to rest on his back and he could feel her fingers tangle into his shirt for half a second.

“You’ll… Tell me about everything some day, won’t you?” she asked, her voice a low whisper all but mumbled into his back.

The last time she’d held him like that, clung to him in what he had to suspect was desperation, had been the week before she’d moved out here. He’d been heading out of her house after a night of drinking, laughing over some joke she’d slung at him, and he’d been halfway through the door when she’d grabbed him. Whispered that she needed him to know they’d always be friends, no matter what. A week later she’d been gone, with no more warning than that little moment that he hadn’t really thought about until later.

“Of course,” he answered now as then, except this time the words were ash in his mouth, not a heartfelt declaration.

Then her fingers, her arms, her head were all gone and Connie was breezing past him like they hadn’t just had a moment.

* * * * * *

“I’m gonna do it.”

“One of these days she’s going to pay you back for this, Shaun,” Daniel warned with a sigh as Shaun reached for the door to the cafe.

“I’m doing it,” Shaun insisted as he did every morning, and to be honest, he was more eager this morning than he had been in a while. Another day meant another chance to see David.

“For the love of…”

Shaun pushed the door open with the tips of his fingers and shouted, “Good mor…”

Every morning for the two years that he’d known Connie’s real name, Shaun would burst through the door, call her name, and duck the hurled towel. It was the first step of his morning routine, it felt right to do it each and every day, and revel in the snickering of the employees and curses Connie would throw at him. In that whole time Shaun had never once missed the chance to say the name, Connie had never once been quick enough to hit him, and D had never once failed to catch the towel.

So the rough texture of terrycloth slapping against his face had to have been rather low on the list of things Shaun had been expecting.

“Ah, it would seem that David has far better reflexes than Connie,” Daniel’s voice observed as it passed him, and Shaun didn’t, couldn’t move even after the blue fabric was plucked from his face with what had to be one of the most genuine chuckles he’d ever heard from Daniel.

“Either get in or stay out,” David’s voice called dispassionately from the counter, and Shaun let his eyes flash to the man behind the counter. What he found was little smirk, and a shock of blond hair that immobilized him again with just how fucking good the color looked on David..

“You know, if I realized that was going to break him, I might not have asked,” Connie sighed from David’s side. “Those two are my best customers.”

“Do not worry, Connie, he will recover,” Daniel insisted as he handed the towel over to David, and Shaun swallowed hard at the knowledge that he could have taken that towel over himself and let his fingers brush briefly against David’s. “Thank you though, David, for putting him in his place for once.”

Then Daniel was back at his side, one of his arms wrapped around Shaun’s shoulder, and Shaun let himself be steered toward their booth.

“Are you feeling alright?” Daniel asked as Shaun slid into his bench and stared at the table before him. “David was quicker on the throw than Connie typically is, but that does not explain why you are so… disturbed.”

“He looks good like that,” Shaun sighed, leaning forward and resting his chin in his cupped hands. Two years of routine ruined by a single man that he hadn’t been able to get out of his mind all night. “Really good. Like, he was already a ten out of ten, but he’s hit eleven like that. Can you be an eleven out of ten? Because he is.”

Daniel rolled his eyes and sighed. “It is not possible to be an eleven out of ten. Clearly your scale has been skewed by one, meaning that he is either a ten out of ten and you’ve been rounding people up, or he is an eleven out of eleven or some other large number and…”

“You two again?” Tucker’s voice cut into their conversation with a sigh and Shaun’s eyes darted toward him.

“Where’s David?” Shaun asked before he could stop himself, and out of the corner of his eyes he could see Daniel pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

“Yeah, hey to you too, Shaun,” Tucker snapped. “Just figure out what food you want so I can get back to the part of my job that doesn’t involve dealing with you?”

“Coffee cake,” Shaun sighed at last, glaring down at the table.

He expected Tucker to turn away, just walk off and go fill their orders like he had every time but when they had first met, and yet the man was still standing there, hands on his hips.

“What?” Shaun demanded, turning his glare up toward Tucker.

“Connie wants me to tell you to leave David alone,” Tucker admitted, smirking down at him, and he didn’t even bother walking away when his message was delivered. Clearly he wanted to judge Shaun’s reaction.

“And…?” Daniel prompted for Shaun. Or Daniel was right and there was something more.

“And I say don’t back down just because she’s a little protective of Wash. Guy looks like he could use a good fuck,” Tucker smiled, eyes flashing with amusement before he whirled on his heels and strode off.

“Well,” Daniel sighed with a shake of his head when Tucker was out of earshot, “at least one person is pulling for you.”

“And you’re not? Oh well, could be worse,” Shaun decided after a moment, turning his attention toward the counter where the newly blond David stood. Geez that color was just so perfect on him and Shaun wanted to tangle his fingers in those short locks and pull David close back and…

“I believe that it just became so,” Daniel declared, cutting Shaun’s fantasy short. The look that flashed across the other man’s face with the chime of the front door opening told a story that Shaun didn’t want to read.

“No, just please tell me that it isn’t…”

“I am afraid that it is,” Daniel groaned, sinking down into his seat a little, and Shaun wished that it could be that simple, that easy to dodge what was bound to happen next. But the simple fact of the matter was that all anyone could do when this happened was try to keep your head low and hope everyone got out of it with the bare minimum of bruises.

“Of all mornings she has to pick this one to show up?” Shaun groaned, sinking into his seat himself.

“Three… Two… One…” Daniel counted down, and then it happened.

“Tex!”

* * * * * *

“So, Connie told me I’ve got to start teaching you how to make the drinks,” Tucker said as he circled back around the counter and brushed past David, “so get your ass over here.”

“It has to be this moment?” David asked as he moved away from the display case. Of course the machine Tucker had stopped in front of just so happened to be the one that faced the table where Daniel and Shaun were sitting. The table where there was a gorgeous man whose eyes kept wandering over to focus on him.

“Yep. Church and Caboose blow at it, and she figures if I’ve got to call in sick she’d like to have someone to help,” Tucker explained. “Oh, and while we’re at it… you left something behind in your rush to get out of here yesterday.”

“Left…” David asked and he knew his eyes must have gone wide as he looked at the napkin with Shaun’s phone number on it that Tucker was waving in front of him, because there was a smirk a mile wide on Tucker’s lips. “Oh.”

“Looks like someone has an admirer,” Tucker chuckled as he pressed the napkin up against David’s chest. Then his hand was gone and David flailed, more out of reflex than anything else, to snatch the napkin out of the air as it fluttered toward the floor. “I don’t quite understand just why you’re avoiding him, other than Connie’s insistence, but you’re obviously interested.”

“I’m not interested,” David stammered even as he felt his hand shove the napkin in the pocket of his apron. Except the look on Tucker’s face said he believed that about as far as he could throw David.

“He’s hot, he’s single, he’s clearly into you, and more than anything else, you look like you could use a damn good lay. And trust me, Wash, Shaun’s damn…”

“Tex!” Church’s voice yelped behind them, and Tucker’s advice turned into a worried yelp as he ducked down behind the counter.

“Um…” was all David could get out as he looked at Tucker cowering on the floor.

“Shit, either get down or get away from me. Last thing I want is her attention,” Tucker growled.

“David, over here,” Connie’s voice called and with a shake of his head David turned to look at her. Familiarity pointed him toward the nervousness in her posture, highlighted how she chewed at her lip, and registered the concerned look she shot at Church, whose feet weren’t on the floor because of the woman on the other side of the counter who had her fist tangled up in his shirt and was hauling him up over the edge of the counter.

“What’s…” he asked, and when Connie sighed and looked at the tall, blond woman in a leather jacket and a tank top, who was glaring at Church, he followed her gaze.

Then he couldn’t see the glare any more because Church was halfway over the counter with a single tug and the woman was kissing him, hard.

“Meet Allison,” Connie sighed, looking away from Church and the woman. “If Leonard waits on her, we’ll probably have a shouting match. Michael and Lavernius, as you might have noticed, are terrified of her because they think she flipped a car one handed or something. They were never clear and I’m pretty sure there was a lot of booze involved. Would you…”

“Yeah,” David agreed. “I think I can handle that. But do they have to…”

“If you think is bad, you’re really not going to enjoy the picnic tomorrow,” Connie chuckled to herself, thrusting an order pad at him. “Oh, and no arguing. You’re coming with us if I have to drag you out of your apartment on my own in the morning. Dress warm. And one last thing…”

“Yeah?” David asked as he started around the counter.

“If Allison looks like she’s getting angry, don’t turn away. Bruises on the arms upset the customers.”

Well… That wasn’t really hardly encouraging. Nor, he thought as he went around the counter and watched Allison release Church—the thump he made when he hit the counter was actually kind of amusing—was the fact that Allison was making straight for the booths near where Shaun and Daniel were sitting.

No, from the way Daniel and Shaun both seemed to be sinking down and trying to avoid notice it was worse than that, wasn’t it? No, please god no, let her not…

“Morning, Tex,” Shaun said, his voice a mixture of feigned pleasantness and strain as he slid all the way against the wall. “Wasn’t expecting to see you this morning, were we D?”

“No,” Daniel responded with a curtness that didn’t seem in character with the man David had interacted with the day before.

“Who’s the new guy and why’s he following me like a lost puppy?” the woman, Allison, demanded as she settled in next to Shaun, who seemed to coil in on himself a bit.

“New employee,” Shaun explained, and David couldn’t help a little smile at how restrained the man was behaving.

“David,” he offered when Allison returned her attention to him. “What can I get for you?”

The woman took a moment to look him up and down, then jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Shaun. “He get you in bed yet, new kid?”

“I couldn’t even begin to see how that would be any of your business,” David snapped in annoyance, and there was something about the way Shaun and Daniel both recoiled that worried him. Okay, maybe their reactions mixed with the dark look that flashed across the woman’s face were what worried him. That and the heavy silence that hung over the whole cafe.

“No one’s warned you about me, have they?” Allison asked, voice cold and yet heavy with amusement.

“Never heard your name before Connie told me,” David came right back, refusing to allow the fear this woman seemed to instill in everyone else get to him. He’d seen worse things than her before.

The threat of punches didn’t really compare to that moment of pure terror when he’d been pressed against a wall with a shaking knife held against his…

Nope. Not going there. Still not going there. Never going there again. He’d left those memories thirty six hours and twenty four hundred miles behind him.

If only they would have the decency to stay there.

“I like him,” Allison declared after a long moment, a menacing grin spreading over her face. “Got real balls. Not enough guys around here do. Large coffee, regular, a slice of that chocolate cream pie Connie’s so good at, and one of those little pecan wheels Caboose makes. Put it on their check.”

There was a look on Shaun’s face that screamed outrage, and David just smiled back at Allison. “Right away.”

He had a strange feeling he was going to like this woman.

* * * * * *

“So, what’s his story?” Tex asked when David had walked away to fill her order.

“No clue,” Shaun admitted as he pressed himself a little closer to the wall and did his level best not to complain about her order being put on his bill. She only did that, only did this whole show of coming over to sit with them, when she needed something from him.

Seeing as he owed her nothing short of his life, he had never been able to find a way to say no to anything Tex asked of him.

“This is only David’s second day on the job so far as we are aware,” Daniel provided, always better at handling Tex’s presence than Shaun had ever been.

Then again, Daniel hadn’t been there that night. Hadn’t been the one to watch her take out five armed gang bangers after his tools, a task she had finished by snapping the wrist of the guy who had thought the best way to deal with the psychotic beast of a woman who had just taken down his four friends was to put a gun to Shaun’s head. The kid’s hands had been shaky, too much for Shaun to feel comfortable trying to disarm him on his own—he could have taken on one or two of them, but not five men with guns—and Shaun had known he was going to die. That the shaking would lead to a trigger being pulled, his brains splatted across the alley.

She broke the kid’s wrist with a single kick, and somehow the force had twisted the muzzle just far enough aside when his finger had reflexively squeezed from the pain.

Shaun hadn’t been able to hear out of his left ear for a week, but really, he’d gotten off light.

“Well, it’s going to be an interesting story when it comes out, so be sure to keep me appraised,” Tex ordered, and Shaun just nodded reflexively.

Wait, had she just…

“I am not sure I understand,” Daniel said, beating Shaun to the question, “why would you consider it interesting?”

“I tend to find that the only people who meet my gaze that levelly are the ones who’ve seen some bad shit already,” Tex observed, and all Shaun could do was stare at her. “But that’s not here or there. I’ve got work for you, Shaun.”

“Tex, I know that Shaun attempts to drop everything to help you but…” Daniel started only to be cut off by Tex plucking something out of an interior pocket of her coat and then slamming a photo down on the table.

Shaun only had to glance at it to recognize the person in it, and then he couldn’t help but curse.

“You found him,” Shaun sighed, a hand coming up to run through his hair. “When do you need me?”

“Shaun…” Daniel said, his voice low and urgent, “this could be…”

“Dangerous,” Shaun agreed, staring down at the image of a large man in a torn leather coat, a military style buzz cut to his black hair, and an ugly, twisted scar that trailed from the tip of his left ear to the base of his neck. “I know.”

“O'Malley…” Daniel tried again, only to stop when Shaun shook his head.

“Give it up, D,” Tex added, her voice hard. “He knew exactly what he was getting into when he signed up for this. The bounty’s good, but O'Malley has this fondness for putting some pretty serious doors between me and him. I can’t do this without Shaun, and he knows that. Either he helps me, or a really bad guy stays out on the street longer than any one wants.”

There was the sound of approaching footsteps, something Shaun probably wouldn’t have noticed if it hadn’t been for the way his mind reacted when the very thought of O'Malley came up. Then again, who in their right mind didn’t get jumpy when there was the very real possibility that the only way to get a very dangerous fugitive head of a crime syndicate off the streets was to get personally involved?

Shit, he hadn’t wanted any of this. He really should have just thrown his gear at the gang bangers and run for it. Worst they could have done would have been to kill him. O'Malley though… well, he had a reputation for drawing those kinds of things out.

The footsteps cued Tex’s hand shooting out and snatching the photo to tuck back into her pocket, and then there was David, standing at the end of their table, a large tray balanced easily on the pads of his fingers.

“Two coffees, latte special, banana nut muffin, coffee cake, chocolate cream pie, and a pecan wheel,” David recited as he moved each item to the table. “Anything else?”

“No,” Tex said, curt and dismissive. David just rolled his eyes and strode away, and Shaun let his eyes follow the other man as long as he could without having to crawl into Tex’s lap to get a good view, then he returned his attention to the table and the tension that had overtaken it.

“When?” he asked, staring down at the snail pattern in his latte. It was a cute creation, and unsurprising; Tucker didn’t risk anything offensive when Tex was at their table, he was too scared of Tex and rightly so.

“Shaun…” Daniel repeated yet again, concern weighty in his voice.

“As soon as we’re done here. You have what you need?”

“I’ll need to run up to the shop. Won’t take long.”

“And you’ve got your arrangements handled?”

The way she said it, cold and matter of fact, cut Shaun to the quick. Yet he looked up and across the table at Daniel, who looked more than simply scared, and who shook his head. The gesture was so tiny that Shaun was certain even Tex wouldn’t be able to read it. It took knowing D as long as he had to know that gesture. A denial with no force behind it. Daniel knew he’d made up his mind months ago.

“The company is in both our names,” he answered. “Daniel will be covered if something happens.”

“Good,” Tex mused before starting into her meal. “Nothing you’ve got to handle last minute?”

There was a flash of short blond hair and a gray shirt in the corner of his eyes, and Shaun shook his head. As scalding hot as it was he threw back half the latte in one go, took a big bite out of the coffeecake before setting it aside, and then scooted toward Tex. She read the movement for what it was and stood to get out of his way.

“Shaun?” she asked as he rose and moved to the end of the table long enough to dig his wallet out. He threw a twenty down then tossed the wallet to Daniel. Better it not be on him if something went wrong.

“Just one thing I’ve got to take care of before I get my stuff. Meet in the usual place?”

“Of course,” Tex answered, her brow scrunching up in confusion, but Shaun moved the second the affirmative fell from her lips.

He found David standing at a nearby table, smiling at an older couple who were still hemming and hawing over their menus. The other man must have seen him coming, but he didn’t react until Shaun was already stopping at his side and smiling at the couple.

“If you two would please excuse David for a moment. I need to borrow him.”

“Shaun,” David said, his voice low and warning, but Shaun just grabbed his wrist and jerked the man around so they were facing each other.

“Wanted to say you look a lot better as a blond,” Shaun smiled, and the confusion—maybe mixed with satisfaction but he couldn’t be sure—that flashed across David’s face was the perfect opportunity.

His fingers tangled in the back of David’s hair as Shaun pulled him forward. David’s lips were warm and slightly rough from the way they had been pursed when Shaun had pulled him in, but soft under that. And they felt so good against his. So warm, so perfect, and he couldn’t help himself. His tongue darted out, licked over them, and they tasted like cinnamon and chocolate and blueberries and the way David gasped was perfect, too much of an opportunity to pass up.

After all, if things went wrong, he could be dead this time tomorrow, or at least wishing he was.

When his tongue slid against David’s for the briefest of moments, the lightest of touches, he felt the tense body pressed against his shudder slightly and relax for half a second. Then there were hands at his shoulders and before David could push him away Shaun pulled back.

“Needed to do that in case there was never another chance,” Shaun laughed under his breath as he stared at David and marveled at the mixture of shock, anger, and want on that face.

Damn it was beautiful.

“Wish me luck,” he said with a smile, knowing just how breathy his voice had to sound.

“Luck?” David asked, his brain clearly still trying to catch up with the situation.

“That’ll have to do,” Shaun laughed before he pulled away and made straight for the door.

He heard Connie curse as he pushed through the door and Tucker whoop in encouragement as he hit the street.

And all he could think about was how David had smelled like strawberries and Irish Spring and Caboose’s sugar cookies. How his hair had felt like down on the bare skin of his hands and his lips had been satin against Shaun’s. And how he’d tasted of cinnamon and chocolate and blueberries.

Damn.

Well, Shaun thought as he felt a faint smile curl his lips, he had better make it through this if he wanted another chance at that, or even a first chance at David kissing back.

* * * * * *

“Shut up!” David snapped at Tucker at the same time Connie did, but he couldn’t hear his own voice. All he could hear was his heart pounding in his ears, his breath coming out in quiet pants, and thoughts racing through his head.

“Are you all right, young man?” the woman at the table behind him asked, and David shook his head. Work, he reminded himself, and turned his attention back to the couple, putting Shaun and Tucker and Connie out of his head.

“I’m sorry about that, ma'am, sir. What was it you wanted?”

His hand wrote as they ordered, but for some reason his mind just ran through the taste of latte and coffeecake and the rough heat of lips and tongue, and the chemical smell of hair gel.

And the way he had wanted to groan at the light tug of his hair and the feel of a tongue ghosting over his own.

“Anything else?” David asked, smiling at the pair and forcing himself to tear his thoughts away from the taste of latte and rough heat of lips and smell of…

“No,” the woman smiled, waving him off, sending a hard look at the man with her. David was thankful to have an excuse to leave, and made his way straight for the counter where Tucker and Connie were standing, the former making his eyebrows move ridiculously in a way that clearly meant to be suggestive, and the latter silently fuming.

“David,” Connie said, taking a step forward, and he cut her off by throwing the order pad on the counter.

“Have Tucker deliver it,” he said, forcing more calm into his voice than he really felt at that moment.

“So…” Tucker started to say, and David just yanked the napkin from his apron pocket and, glaring at Tucker, stuffed it into the tip jar.

Connie’s expression was confused, but Tucker understood, David could see that clearly, and the kid shook his head disapprovingly.

“I need the bathroom,” David said, a flimsy excuse and they all knew it, but no one stopped him as he fled at a carefully controlled pace for the men’s room.

When the door was locked behind him David let himself sink to the floor, back to the door, and at last his fingers did what they had been aching to do. They ghosted over his lips, assured him there was no residual heat for all that he could still feel it.

He hadn’t been kissed like that since Ethan…

No, David realized after half a moment. He’d never been kissed like that. The fire, the pressure, the need in it, underlining an almost frantic edge he had been able to feel in the places where Shaun’s body had been pressed up against his and in the gentle pulling of his hair.

There was no comparison. He’d never been kissed like that before. Never heard someone whisper to him in such a sad, breathy way.

David tilted his head back against the door and thought about the look in those gray eyes before Shaun had turned away. Resignation, and fear. Those were emotions he had seen far too often in the mirror.

They didn’t suit Shaun.

“Never another chance?” he quietly asked of the bathroom. “Just what’s that supposed to mean?”